from th moment i sent tht txt, i think i've alrdy made a decision. to let go and move on wit th life i've now. but well, it's easier said than done. really. as i'm typing this down, i'm actually having tears at th brink of my eyes. idk what i'm crying for; like am i feeling sad cos i've lost sth really dear to me, sth tht i really held close to my heart for. and now it's gone.

somehow i'm glad i told you how i felt, but i actually did expect at least a reply from you, which i didn't. little did you knw tht when i type those words down, it sting me so bad tht i really feel lyk banging my head against th wall, and mayb i might just suffer a brain concussion. from tht, i can just forget abt everything tht has happened. i've told some close friends tht i've been thru th worst, and thr's nth more heart wrenching than tht. losing a guy is nvr as painful as losing a parent. th pain of losing a guy is just temporary and th feeling you've for tht guy will just fade off by time; wheras losing a parent is pain for a lifetime.

but what i'm feeling is tht, i'm getting a blow almost sequentially. th first blow in decemeber and another in april. my, it has been 6mths and 2mths respectively, and tht really sucks. sometimes i think so much, i start to hear voices in my head, so loud tht i just want to scream and tell them to shut th hell up. all those are making me annoyed wit me, myself and i.

like, what th fuck is wrong wit me.