revelations (:

haven't recovered from cough since arrival from korea

which was a week ago i guess.

isit a bad thng or a good thng uh ?

hahah, i oso dunno.

on 1 hand, i wish i nvr recovered; but th other i wish i got my voice back.

gosh!!! thr i go again. contradictions.

anyways, was scrolling thru hp inbox & realise that then was different from now.

it's lyk promises made then, seems to be empty promises.

however, when promises made then, were said to be not an empty promise.

okays, do u all get it ? i doubt so.

hahhaha, read through all;

some were encouraging; heartbreaking; heartwarming; touching.

but somehow, wat shld be happening seems to be in contradictions.

but you know, words that seems to be might not necessarily

means it is meant from th heart;

it might jus be a passing remark but took seriously &

at th end of th day when everythng reveals, it's just hard to take.

hahaha, though thngs do happen but it's just meant to be i guess.

thr's nth that can be done to make th matter not happen again.

people do come and go in life, & it's oneself that makes th difference.

thr's somethng that Ivan said, that kept me thinking for a few days;

"friends that leak our secrets; friends that betray you;

that does not mean he/she is not a good friend. situations that happen

between you & your friends, make you change challenges into opportunities

for you to understand & know your friend better."

it's jus simple words lyk these, that set me thinking abt wat he said.

& somehow, just few situations

that happen before/during/after breakaway camp, sets me thinking & understanding.

it jus made me feel that GOD indeed is amazing.

things that happened in my life, GOD know it all;

he has alrdy lit-ed up th path that i need to take.

it's just me that is not obedient, & that leads to unwilling-ness.

on that particular phone conversation wit Ivan,

he ask me what is my desire in church & in cell group.

that again sets me thinking; what do i reali want?

i thought of all this questions, all this doubts; having a buring desire for an answer.

& what i know now is that once again, i reali need to revive

th fire that was once burning real hot for GOD.

once again, i know that i have to be obedient and willing in GOD's word.

& thats why today i made a promise to GOD; to myself;

i want to be th encourager; i want to be th initate-er;

i want to be GOD sensitive; i want to have a vision/ revelation.

i prayed to GOD, ensuring HIM upon th thngs i promised.

& somehow i felt a nudge in my heart, ensuring me that i can, i can, i can.

i want to rise up!

i want to once again break my heart, for GOD to heal it.

ALLELUIA! PRAISE TH LORD! :DDDDDDDDD