So much happened lately; th happy and th depressing.

got myself tipsy a couple of times, but i'm glad th girls were there to take care of me. truth to be told, i really have no idea why every single time i get a little too tipsy i'll just break down. i'll just cry abt every single damn thing. ohwells.

salvo have been a big part of my schedule recently, wit performance trainings and competition training for th entire week last week. execution on dreams 3 was awesome, or so they say. we got thru th finals, and somehow was really shocked we came in 2nd for th tertiary category. so now, we really need to work hard to come out wit a new score for th finals in june.

talking abt salvo, th senior have graduated and i'm sure i'm going to miss them. i foresee a teary sight on day 2 of chalet, but tht isn't tears of sadness, but of joy i guess. it's not that i'm happy th seniors are graduating and leaving us, it's just that tears of joy for th friendship we have forged and how we see each other through th 酸甜苦辣.

this week is a super slack and homey one for me, i stayed home practically everyday. hibernating most of th time. night out tmr wit some people, and i seriously can't wait. bye for now.

Tonight supposed to be one of those nights that i allow myself to let my hair loose and just enjoy myself, but that did not happened. I shouldn't have started th topic of my dad wit J before meeting the rest of th girls for timbre. It dampens th whole spirit of my own, and all i felt like doing was blending into the picture and left unknown. Feels like crap;

I'm so sorry girls, for not being a sport.

Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say " I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallable" We have been accustomed to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with diseases, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt be feared.

Was hopping from different blog-sites, and came across something that caught my attention. It was these chunk of words but, i just read on and that whole paragraph sets me thinking, quite abit.

Human as such, I am one of them. Often i find myself wallowed in my own thoughts but never did I once ever shared something with anyone - not totally. Th mask that i put on every other day, seems as much as the necessity to put on clothes every other day. Without this mask, i would feel insecure , naked and maybe a little out of place. It is this mask that i put myself in everyday, and it is this mask that people see me on th outside.

To many, i might seem like a person full joy - a total extrovent.

I am not a box, there's more than 4 sides of me.

i like photos with balloons in them, it makes me happy; as much as i don't like balloons bursting in my ears.

went back to school on thursday for lab, and all i do in class was play around wit photoshop and it's features. it was an outdoor lab session where students were asked to go out of the classroom and take photos for 2hours ; all i was left alone in th lab for abt one and half hour after th lecturer explains to me th basic functions of photohshop. boy, i was really bored. after completing, i spent my time watching harry potter on my phone - luckily i loaded onto my phone th previous night!

and did i mention tht brother just came back from bkk and he bought alot of stitch stuff for me, but someone it's of no use for me, except those iPhone casings, so cutee! :> i changed th hello kitty one off at tht instant. mummy drove to airport th night that brother arrived, and she was practically driving at 70km/h at th maximum, lucky i survived th trip - mummy haven't drove for ages! and i waited for bro and his friends and mummy in th car at th parking lot for so long, cos i didn't want to move around in crutches. thankfully ZY was entertaining me all long, okay.

one more week to 26/11! i simply can't wait for physio session, can't wait for th knee to bend so badly! but, i think it's not healed yet. have been trying not to wear th brace at home, cos it gets really irritating sometimes. just now when mummy accidentally tickled th sole of my left feet, i jerk and man it hurt a hell load i almost teared! so for th nxt few days, i'm going to be a good girl and have th brace on all th time except bath time. i want it to heal so badly!!! I MISS WALKING!! :<

dislocated a knee joint; knee brace-d and on crutches. thru this, i've seen through alot and felt sad in alot of areas. while typing this, i can feel tears forming. i miss my friend, alot. it's nth like before anymore, it feels as if history is repeating itself though, he claims nth is werid now.

at this point, i really feel lost. somehow. i needed you to be thr, but. i feel as if we were strangers. to be honest, there was nothing more than friends i was thinking. this whole thing is scarying me so badly, i can cry myself to slp every night. i turn to no one else now.

have been writing alot lately, but not on space but on literal book. kept aside a book on th desk, to pen down thoughts of which i thought it's worth remembering, or shld say - at least i've got a personal area to vent out to when i feel like. a book to write in, to me is so much easier than to share wit someone. cos on th other hand, he or she might be a good friend, but not someone that might have to th ultimate patience to hear all of my rants, or could totally take what i'm thinking.

life have been alright in school, at home and what not. i think i'm paying more attention in school this sem thus far, as compared to what i did last sem. though particular modules are just too boring for me to absorb when th lecture speaks in a very weird tone. th word "okay" sounds like "ogheeeyy". and it's suppose to be a technical subject, and she, makes it sounds like an english lesson. tell me about it; it just gets so annoying at times.

going to sentosa this coming friday wit salvopeeps, and i'm so looking forward to it! i want to get sunburnt, SO BADLY! can't wait can't wait can't wait! :> oh and i just downloaded ; i love you, philip morris into my phone, so tht i can watch it during long journey! YESYESYES! :>

Chalk, Wax and Paper.

over at jiahuan's hse now, camping in front of th laptop watching 90210 season 2 while th both is sleeping like a log. i'm so sleepy now, but somehow i can't fall aslp. i slept at 1am ytd and woke up at 4am, and couldn't get back to sleep after tht! work over at tanjong pagar cc today, registration was crazy cos thr were so many people yo!

and well, life's been okayy recently. i think i shld go back to reading and mayb some writing too. lots have been going through my mind recently, and i've kept it tht way cos i always forget to bring my notebook out wit me every single time.

thr was this time when on th way home from work and i somehow decided to take th longer route home from workplace, and i suddenly thought of daddy. i cried like a baby on th bus, and i felt as if people were giving me th weird stares, but i didn't really care then. i went home flipped through photo albums of when i was young and started tearing again. lucky enough, thr weren't anyone at home. i sat thr on th cold marble floor tearing so much till i got tired. i felt lost, th memories of daddy is still so vague in my mind.

just read through th eulogy LKY wrote for his wife, kindered alot of different emotions. i can totally feel his heart you know. i think i shld start writing letters to daddy - i should go get a box, and write letters and keep it inside th box. i knw daddy can read it, and he's always here wit me, just tht idk only. i should right?